thoughts from my week

Before I start – take note of my new mailing address on the blue bar on the right. Mail is taking ages (on the order of months) to arrive to me here in Pokhara from Canada. Someone suggested that the slow down could be the within Nepal, and it may be faster to send mail to the INF main office in Kathmandu, and let them send it along to using internal mail instead. It's worth a try.

I must be getting used to things a bit more, for the first time since arriving in Nepal, I don't feel like I have a backlog of things to write about. However, that has maybe provided me some space to think about things a bit more. I've also been really tired this week – feeling like I'm maybe fighting off a cold or something, but not sure, so the lower activity has been good for me.

A highlight of this week was a 2 day course with ex-pat and Nepali staff who work for INF, on the dynamics of working with people from a different culture. Initially INF was ex-pat run, with Nepali staff lower down, and the ways each culture approach work situations made interactions function relatively easily. Now, however, INF has reached a maturity such that Nepalis are in positions of responsibility, and have to learn to deal with ex-pats as peers or subordinates. And the ex-pats need to learn too.

Nepali culture is one where status and respect are very important. It is generally inappropriate for someone to question their superior, at least not in the open and direct way we in the west understand it. Even to question them about a technical or work matter can be considered a threat to their authority. In contrast, in the west we are generally expected as peers, and even subordinates, to ask questions to ensure plans and ideas are well thought out. You can perhaps imagine how that could result in some cross cultural problems. Another huge difference is how relationship vs task are valued. Of course both are needed, but in the west, we are more often willing to sacrifice relationship if it holds up getting the task done. In comparison, many ex-pats get frustrated when it seems that at times the task can get lost in concern over not offending people or relationship building.

We had talked about some of these issues in the orientation I'd already had, so it was not new. The two days were much more in-depth, and it was very helpful to have the Nepalis there to share and contrast their opinions and experiences too. While there are of course superficial (but important) differences in how people relate, and how one shows respect in Nepali culture, many of the things being stressed came down to good management and people interaction skills. Things that are just as important in the work environment in the west – although perhaps you are able to survive better there then here in Nepal without them.

One of the most helpful things that came from the course was to see that at the root of things we had very similar values – for example confidentiality – but we both thought the other didn't practice it. It became clear from the discussions that followed, that the problems came from the fact each culture had different things which it was important to keep confidential. This came out in several other issues as well, that we had a similar root value, but how it was put in practice was sufficiently different to create conflict between groups. I found this very helpful to see, and begin to understand.

It was interesting too, because there were differences among us as ex-pats. We Canadians were less formal about titles and how we showed respect than the Brits. And there were several issues that we had a great deal of difficulty coming to consensus about – something that would be true of any group of people, even from the same culture. We westerners also tend to be much more individualistic about things, and therefore all have opinions that must be heard and considered, while the Nepali focus is more on reaching group consensus. That being said, they had differences amongst themselves that showed up along ethnic origin, which was interesting.

Another neat thing that happened this week was that Christina, an OT student from the University of Alberta started her 10 week placement at Green Pastures Hospital. I am going to enjoy working with her, and it's good timing to have another Canadian arrive, as Kim from Hamilton is finishing up her year term this month. She, along with one of the ex-pat families are heading off to India for a 3 week holiday, and their departure has reminded me that there will be a lot of leaving happening in the next few months. By July, I'll be one of the few INF ex-pats in Pokhara, and I will miss the great people I've been getting to know.

Perhaps because of this, or because I was tired, but this was my first week to feel a bit homesick. The funny thing is I'm not even clear what I'm homesick for. None of my immediate family are in Canada at the moment, and I am generally happier here now than I was in the fall in Toronto preparing to come to Nepal. I suppose I am wishing for people who know me well, that I can talk to about life. To know and be known at a real level takes a long time to happen when one moves to a new place. Not to say the ex-pats and Nepalis have not made me feel incredibly welcome and included, but real connection takes time. So despite the good people around, I'm feeling sort of lonely, and that is a hard place to be, wherever in the world you are when you feel it.

I'm doing better after a quite day, on my own. Interesting, that time alone sometimes makes one feel less lonely. Perhaps I was wishing to be known because I wasn't taking enough time to know myself. Roz is away this weekend, and I have enjoyed having the house to myself. I slept in, played guitar, and went for a long walk in a woods near the hospital. Tomorrow will be a bit busier – a short hike with Dr. Ian and his family, and then I am making dinner for one of my Nepali friends and her family. It should be fun.